Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I purchased a photo frame pendant from Joann's and, instead of a photo, I wanted to put a word inside. Recently I was given a huge box of old sheet music, so I searched for just the right word to put inside of the frame. The word I chose was "Sing."
Today I did not feel like singing. It was one of those Mom Days. You know... "Mommmyyyyyyy!!!" attached to lots of crying and whining.
There are blogs out there that make you feel like a failure as a mother, because they portray life as perfect and fine and dandy, and you wonder what in the world you are doing wrong. I really hope this blog doesn't make you feel that way. I have always tried to be honest about things, how hard being a mom is, how my boys drive me nuts sometimes, and how there are days I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head. Today was that day.
I seriously feel like my boys don't want to have fun. Ever. Both of them hate doing fun things, and I'm not kidding. Go to a theme park? Chances are, they'll cry about it. Go to a birthday party? They will definitely moan about it and then not participate at all. Go to a park? No thanks! Go to a fun store with mommy? Yeah, right! Do a craft? Oh please! What are we doing wrong here? I feel like they came out of the womb with a "just leave me alone" sign strapped to their heads.
After school is just the best part of the day. Micah comes home, and the boys begin getting all of their pent up anger out for the entire day. They chase each other around the house, one screaming and the other crying. Someone inevitably runs into a wall and gets hurt, and then tries to hit the other one for making him run into that wall. For 2 hours I am basically trying to calm them down. After about 18 time-outs, they usually end up sitting on their bed until dinner time. Fun times, people!
Tonight there were tears about the bath not being long enough, about what pajamas to wear, about the fact we were only reading 2 books instead of 3, about wanting more food to eat, and on and on.
What in the world does this have to do with my necklace, you ask?
For one thing, I think we mothers need to do nice things for ourselves once in awhile. Even if they only cost $2.
Secondly, we need something that will always remind us to have perspective. Yes, today was a bad day. I should still find something I can sing about. I know that tomorrow after school will likely have challenges. How can I find something to sing about in that time? I'm not trying to be unrealistic - I'm just trying to not kill myself sometimes. (Not really, don't freak out). And that necklace? Well, today I kept grabbing it with my hand and just holding it. Jesus is the real one who calms me down, but that necklace somehow helped me to stay focused today.
In every moment, I need to find something that I can sing about - even if it is just, "Help me, Lord Jesus!"